January 2014
I've came across with this simple yet powerful conclusion of
How it is ridiculous that i spend so much time away from you
When you are one of the most permanent invaders of my mind.
It is that sometimes i still have doubts of reciprocity
Cause i don't want at all to be another annoyance for you
I just want to be part of your physical reality
In case you want it too.
As far as i'm concerned, it is one of my deepest wishes
And i'll be certain to make it a priority as soon as i return
In case you'll be available.
You've become one of my favourite persons on earth
Since the moment my eyes met yours, and i don't know why.
I tried to love you when there was no love in me.
Or maybe love was, but not the ability to express it.
I am learning to express it cause otherwise it stays unreal
In any other place that is not myself and my imagination.
And i know you are trying to do the same.
How despairing would it be
That our relationship has to be continued to be lived
As an absence of our bodies for the fulfillment of our minds?
I have this wide belief that i am not afraid of changing that
Perhaps because i am not afraid of the love of another anymore.
I don't know how to write about love, so i am writing about me.
And as i write about me, i cannot restrain from including you.
Does this mean you are the other i want to give my love to?
I suppose this is not the right question to ask, nor to share.
Because i find love in so many contrasting beings and places
That it would be simply insane to surrender to exclusiveness
Just for the sake of combating loneliness or chasing idealisms.
But let me repeat, you've become one of my favourite beings
Even though i try to fight favouritisms.
I could tell you now that i love you, as i've done so many times
And as a matter of fact it is what i am doing without wanting.
Cause all i want is to share my time with you, not my words
And luckily, doubts about this choice there aren't any anymore
Cause last time i spent time with you my soul got so fulfilled
That my body almost kept me from moving on from you.
But i've been learning that too, to move on.
I don't ask anything from you, if it's not a slice of your time
So we can experience how it can be to move on in togetherness
Not that we haven't maybe experienced it with others yet
But we haven't genuinely tried to do so with each other
And i believe that if we allow to give each other our time
We may well find or not if we are able to share our lives.
Even if to do so, no expectations are required.
I am leaving for another reality, but our reality still to be created if
Circumstances allow it , of course, will surely be a constant thought
Meanwhile, i wish you to love and to be loved as much as you breath.
